Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
