thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
