Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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