i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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