YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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