I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
