I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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