From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We got so high we made milksteak
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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