you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
