you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
