If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The power of my boobs compel you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize