he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
