i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
