i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
