we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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