So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
