Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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