How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
