You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
