this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
