Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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