just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
