We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
