i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
