So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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