So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Enjoy the penises
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
