I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
