That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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