But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
