Porn is love you can see.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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