This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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