I hate all girls vehemently.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize