you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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