in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They have beer where we have blood.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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