Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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