"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
