That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
