i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
