super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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