I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
