Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
