idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
