porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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