ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
