bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
