There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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