She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
