i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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