Christians are straight up FREAKS
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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