Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
