You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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