On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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