bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
