Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
