I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
