I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
