Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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