We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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