We're facebook friends in real life
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
