There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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