your room smells of hookers.
And success
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
