It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
