forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
