I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
