Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
