Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize