I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
did you just send me my own nude
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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