Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
