I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
