Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
