I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
