YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
